I recently realized that I needed to put myself out there more. I never realized how difficult this would be, especially because I prided myself on being able to socialize with almost anyone. But trying to talk to the cute guy sitting next to me, is probably the most awkward situation of my life.
When someone I find attractive is around, I forget that I’m actually very socially awkward. I make remarks about hugging and being best friends before I even know the person. Then when I say something like, “Hey, you look like you could use a hug” comes out of my mouth, I instantly regret my decision. Only once did that work out the way I actually wanted it to. That was a good night until I stuck my foot in my mouth again and finished up the meet and greet with, “We are buddies now!” A friend of mine turned to me and actually told me that I had taken the scene one step to far. Oops. I couldn’t take the words back so I embraced them and played them off as though they never slipped between my lips.
Besides the first hello, there is always the initial first date, where I stare at the person and I question whether or not something is in my teeth or what to say next in order to make small talk. Moments of silence freak me out. So I usually fill up the spaces with “What’s your favorite color?…Oh yeah…cool, mine is pink” and then I shovel another fork full of food in my mouth. And am I the only that wonders how long you should wait before texting the person again? There has to be some unspoken rule about this? Also, do I wait for him to text? I’m not sure. But as I sit there eating watching my date talk, I wonder these things and then just smile and nod every now and then.
After the date, I usually wait a while to see if I hear anything back and then I will send that one text that says, “hi :)” and debate whether or not that was too much for one text. I can’t look to desperate you know!